Where did it all go wrong?Dose it even matter any more?...I'm done!Thought Ray as he downed his macabre shake. His last meal.
Some whiskey, a hand full or two of downers, a dash of coke for flavor and a few pellets of rat poison for good measure. That should do the trick,right? No note. No one to care or mourn for his passing. It was time.
"Been a wild ride, 'till next time.", sighed Ray as Sweet Release slid down his gullet. "Bottoms up!" With the deed done he decided to turn in. Pulling the covers over him and turning to make sure the window was open,it might be a few days but he'd be found. With that he closed his eyes, waiting.
"Psst, hey you awake?", whispered a deep voice (more felt than heard) at his ear.
Ray had no idea what was going on:What time is it?Wait, who the hell is in my house...Damn why am I still here? He thought in the split second it took to register the voice. He tried to move but couldn't.
"AHHH...Good.", muttered the voice, mixing rich over tones and subtle under tones, sounding as if it was a symphony of voices. All vying for rays attention.
He tried to open his eyes yet couldn't.
"No,no...no peeking now....." growled the Voice, trailing off (muttering jibes and pleads in the ebb and flow,daring him to anyway, warning him not to. "Do it....do it....DO IT!" "No, be still, hush and listen!")Ray ignored the voice, terrified or not he wanted to face his fate.
...UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO SCRAP YOUR EYE-HOLES CLEAN!!!!", finished the Voice in a cacophony of sound.
In one instant Ray felt the pressure of the world on him and a crack in the air. Followed by a sharp pain under his eye and a hand like oil sliding up his forehead and pulling his scalp. He couldn't help it, it may have been the shake finally doing its job or fear, but Ray let loose a puddle of yellow liquid as blood oozed down his cheek.
The voice seemed to change all at once to a more pleasant tone in the forefront,"My presence can destroy the very essence of a soul...but that's what you want, Oblivion...Nothingness. I desire to know why,young one .Then you may have what you long for." (the gibes and jeers where here all the same "Aww,but I want too." "He's naught but an ant." "Yea, just a piss ant too!")This was too much for Ray...he stayed frozen, pressure still on him, urine soaking to the bone, warm or not."Come, speak!", It said, growing irritated.
"I...I..I n-nnn-need to change first.", replied Ray. Doing his best to stall. He was scared witless, but could feel the toxins doing their job and just wanted to go. "Time is at a stand still...you're not going anywhere anytime soon, child. Now answer, before this becomes your hell!", shot the Voice as if it read his mind, both calm and irked at the same time( "He his a child after all...." "then he should listen to his elders..." "Just end it, how can we understand the mind of an insect?").
Sensing the truth in this, and unable to open his eyes to finish the job Ray relented. Better get it over with...,he thought.
"OK, but what shout I call you? I can't see who you ...I know you're not Jesus or God...but your too kind to be...." The voice cut Ray off in a concurrence of laughter."Oh, how you show your shortsightedness, Nursling. Still sucking on that teat are we? Will, no matter...not for you anyway." As the Voice was talking it was stroking Rays grey, thinning hair. As a mother would her own.
It was unsettling in every way.With claws too long and skin(if it even was skin) way too slick."I am the Cosmos, I am Forever. The God of your God. Of your Deamons. Everything you see sprang from no more material than mine own hair..." As this was said a single hair was plucked from Rays head and whirled as a flower by a school child. Then as easily forgotten as the voice continued, ignoring the twitch from ray."Children always know whats best, I was forgotten...But I digress...I am All. Call me that you will, you've earned that right by just simply being in my presence,Little one. Now, tell me your reason to leave it all behind."
"Yes, Allfather. I may go after, right?", asked the desperate man."Indeed.", replied the Voice("Just hurry up..." "Children are slow, remember?" "It has been too long, hasn't it?")
"I'm just tired of living a hollow life:no friends, no family, no nothing .It's that simple. I feel it in my bones that I must leave this place for now." After speaking the truth Ray felt lighter somehow, deep within.
"I expected the answer to be more complicated...though, you are a child...Where do these "feelings" come from? ", asked the Voice in a much more subdued tone, as if in deep thought. "It's hard for me to put into words...my soul,I guess, although It's more than that too...All of me feels this!"
A pause, and a lifting of pressure. "He-Hello?" Ray asked the empty air."I am here, Lamb. Hmmm....", trailed off the Voice. " I see a unique strength in you. Are you sure this is what you want?"
"Even If I burn 'till the end.", exclaimed the old man."Oh, there will be no end. Only beginnings. You have the rare opportunity to choose a fresh start." said the Voice, now calm as still water.
" A new life? Another chance, no penalties?"
"Indeed, but it will hurt. As if all of Hell rose up to beat you down unto them."
"Do it.", said Ray, full of hope for the first time in years. Maybe I can find love, have good parents, be a good parent...try to live a different way this time.
"Good bye...", said the Voice as a light overtook the shadow and the pain began.....