Friday, November 16, 2012

(#Flash Friday) Rumpelkin, the Blacklung

Huh…that’s weird. Thought Pa to himself rubbing his long wizard beard as he pulled the shrink wrap off of the pack of cheapo cigarettes. The more he thought about it the more irritated he became.
”Hey,Ma!”
“Yea, Pa!”
“Did you go and throw away the butts out here? ’Cause I was a savin’ ‘em.”
“Fer what? Ya got a whole carton inside.”
“’Cause, Woman, I was savin’ ‘em! Do I ask you why you save your damn yarn scaps?”
“Well, I didn’t touch ‘em, you old cuss!” Mutters an old lady as she comes outside carrying a tray of lemonade.
“Here’s your dang drink!” she says, setting the glass down hard.
“So you’re saying it was Rumpelkin…” Begins the old man, nodding off the patio to the one yard ornament the couple had.
It was hard to see him through all the weeds over growing the once beautiful yard, but he was there. Tattered and chipped as he was he was loved. The old pair, in years gone by, would spend hours in silent conversation with dear old Rumpelkin. They would mutter and wave their hands about from time to time; some thought them a bit on the queer side.
Yet in reality Rumpelkin helped the twosome keep a bit of their sanity after it was found out that Bess was barren. He would be a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, friend to share a joke with and so much more.
But that time had passed. It pure luck if they woke up remembering they were married anymore. Poor old Rumpelkin forgotten and left to rot.
“Well, could be, he’s old ‘nuff to smoke now anyhow.” Says Bess as she twirls her bangs with her fingers, smiling all the while.
“But Bess this ain’t the first time...”

Idea! The old man thinks, blowing smoke like a dragon deep in Contemplation, I’ll catch ‘er red handed…crazy hen, hehehe.
“All right, Bess, you win.” Says the husband, standing and pulling his suspender straps up.
“I…I gotta go to the store and pick a few things up, need anything Ma?
“Naw, Pa…Hurry up, Bout to cook supper 'n it’s best hot.”
“I know ma.” Replies the man looking up to the sun at high-noon.
######################################

Hours pass and dinner grows stale by the time the old man finishes his project. Oh Imma get ‘er good! These lights’ll wake me up I’m sure, Rumpelkin,the Blacklung…pfft..
He couldn’t help himself, the old man fell to his knees, laughing.

###########################################
It was three A.M. Blinding flash.
Oh, Lordy Is it my time? Ponders the old man before he remembers the trap. Oh yea!
He sits up. Looking over He sees Bess missing from the bed. I knew it was’ er, crazy bat!
So, the old man hops out of bed and runs through the house, knocking over trash can and stepping on the mangy cat they keep. Damn cat!
Finally, he gets to the back door and open’s it up
“AH, HA I GOT Y…..”
His words hung in his mouth. It…It ca….can’t be! He thought

Before him sat Rumpelkin, a halo of smoke rising from the half burnt cigarette in his mouth.
“Hey Henry, bout time you caught on.” Said Rumpelkin in a gruff, deep voice
And with that Henry’s world went black.



4 comments:

  1. LOL!

    For those of you who come after, EJ wrote this here at FAR Manor, after coming outside to find that the cigarette butts he was leaving on a table outside (with intent to clean them up) turned up missing, two mornings in a row. We don't have a lawn gnome… but we do have a little stone angel out back. Hm…

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  2. Nice doses of curmudgeonly and creepy. I used to live above someone who had so many lawn ornaments that the neighbours asked if she was running a business. They creep me right out.

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  3. Heheh!! My next door neighbour has several garden gnomes, and I have a sneaky suspicion they are a little more active after dark than I feel comfortable with.

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  4. Hi again E.J.

    When you have a moment could you pop over to my blog please, I have a little something for you. :)

    ReplyDelete